The Resolution Solution

This week, so many people are making New Year’s resolutions—promises to lose weight, drink less, get to the gym more, reduce screen time, or save money. Often, these resolutions come from an inner voice saying that something is wrong with us. And more often than not, they fizzle out by February. 

I see this pattern again and again as a mental wellness professional. Whether I am  facilitating transformational retreats, offering psychotherapy, or presenting at mental health conferences, people tell me that they need to be better but they just don’t feel motivated to change.

I believe this happens because New Year’s resolutions are often framed as big, distant, long-term goals. The daily focus becomes “I need to” (go to the gym, avoid that food/drink, work harder). Our motivation quickly turns reactive, defensive, and rooted in self-criticism. 

And then an internal power struggle begins, because no one likes being told what to do. You know who usually wins that battle? The oppositional defiant little kid inside us. That voice will convince us, “I had a hard day, I deserve those cheetos / that drink / that shopping spree / that weed”. Immediate gratification will win over long term goals almost every time. 

So what’s the solution? 

Being INTENTIONAL

Lasting change rarely happens through grand gestures or rigid rules. It happens through small, daily choices made from a place of curiosity and intention. Intentions are simply deliberate thoughts, and thoughts shape our actions. Actions, repeated over time, become habits. And eventually, those habits quietly form our character. 

This is a core principle I teach as an expressive arts facilitator and art therapy keynote speaker: change doesn’t come from pushing harder—it comes from shifting perspective.

Instead of one sweeping resolution, what if this year you made a small INTENTIONAL commitment each day? Imagine waking up each morning and, from a place of curiosity, asking:

“What do I need today to feel healthy, energized, and engaged?” Then imagine setting just one simple intention that supports that need.

• Today I will choose to smile at a stranger.

• Today I will choose what fills me, not what numbs me. 

• Today I will place at least 3 colors on my plate for each meal.

These kinds of intentions don’t demand willpower or perfection. They invite presence. They soften the nervous system. They help us shift from fixing ourselves to caring for ourselves, and that’s where lasting change begins.

Healthy habits can be formed deliberately with care, with compassion, and in alignment with who you want to be. Habits that feel supportive rather than punishing. Natural rather than forced.

So I’ll ask you this question: 

What is one INTENTION you can set for 2026 that aligns with the person you want to be?

It doesn’t have to be big or impressive. It doesn’t need to be a SMART goal. It doesn’t need a five-step plan or a tracking app. It just needs to be true to you. 

My  INTENTION for 2026 is simple and playful. I’m going to wear more hats.

Yes, literally put on hats. But also metaphorically.

Hats have always felt like a permission slip to me. When I put one on, something in me shifts. I feel creative, playful and sometimes a little mysterious. I am more expressive, more curious, less concerned with fitting into a single version of myself. 

Many years ago, I think it was 2010, I went to see David Sedaris read from his then new book, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, at UCLA’s Royce Hall. I had small children at the time, so this was a big night out for me. I got dressed up. Not fancy, but in my funky arts school attire, and I wore a fedora. I felt bold. 

After the show I waited in line to have David Sedaris sign my book. He wrote, and I quote, “To Pamela, I love your hat! - David Sedaris”. Obviously that moment stuck with me.

Some days, when I am feeling quirky, my hat might be floppy and colorful. Other days, it’s a blue, hand-knit beanie, providing comfort and warmth. Every five weeks or so, it’s likely to be my tan pageboy, covering my gray hairs until I have time to get them colored again. And once in a while, when I’m feeling just a bit Charlie Chaplin, I pull out my bowler.

The deeper intention is allowing myself to be more fluid, less fixed. To remember that identity isn’t something that is static, it’s something we explore daily and INTENTIONALLY. Wearing more hats is my way of challenging the inner critic that insists there’s only one “right” way to be.

In my work, as an art therapy author, holistic healing speaker, and mental wellness presenter, I see this again and again: the moment people stop trying to fix themselves and instead make room for curiosity, something opens. Being intentional creates space for us to be fully ourselves. 

And speaking of space…

When we gather in INTENTIONAL spaces, anchored in art and community, we give ourselves permission to explore (and challenge) the critical inner voice that shouts at us and keeps us from moving forward.This is the heart of expressive therapies, mindfulness, and spirituality and creativity woven together.

Art becomes a language.Community becomes a mirror.And slowly, we realize we’re not alone.

This is why retreats, workshops, and ongoing creative gatherings are so powerful. When we step out of our routines we create space to listen inward. We slow down enough to notice what feels true, what feels heavy, and what wants to change.

This year, let’s start removing these obstacles together.

This is your invitation to join my creative community. You don’t need to be artistic. You don’t need to have the right words. You just need to put on your baret and INTENTIONALLY show up exactly as you are.

Some of us gather in person, sharing creative time and conversation in the same room. Others join from afar, meeting monthly in virtual circles where art, reflection, and connection still happen. Both offer the same invitation: to experiment and to try on new “hats” in a space that feels safe and supportive.

As we approach 2026, I invite you to choose curiosity over willpower.Presence over perfection. INTENTION over restriction. 

And maybe just give yourself permission to wear a new hat.

Intentionally yours,

-Pamela